KMC 1) CONFIDENTIALITY (Part 1)

Key Mentorship Characteristics (KMC) 

1) CONFIDENTIALITY - An understanding between a limited number of parties regarding the extent to which information shared between them will be kept private or revealed to those outside of the group. Information that has been shared between the parties was communicated in confidence, with the understanding that it’s distribution will be carefully handled.

We invited our friends and readers to add their perspective on the role of “CONFIDENTIALITY” in Mentorship

This is the first in a series of BLOG posts related to Key Characteristics found within Healthy Mentoring Relationships. We’ve already received some great comments from experts and participants within mentoring relationships. Because of the value they provide, we’ve decided to post these separately in order to keep these special comments intact for your benefit and reading pleasure. 

Here's a quick glimpse of the following special posts to appear on this BLOG.

* IN THIS POST - John Kuypers, Performance Shift Consulting (Canada)

Coming Soon:

Feb. 14, 2013 - Prof. David Clutterbuck, David Clutterbuck Partnership (United Kingdom)

Prof. Clutterbuck was one of the very early pioneers of mentoring and coaching. Author of 55 books, a third of them on coaching and mentoring themes, David shares some of the lessons he’s learned on confidentiality. He comments on how it is gained and maintained, as well as when it needs to be broken, and how to handle that most delicate scenario. 

Feb. 21, 2013 - Tuulikki Juusela, Womco Ltd (Finland)

Tuulikki has a M.Sc. focussed on psychology, national economics, social policy and statistics. She has long been active at an international level in mentorship.  A Finnish citizen, she owns a training and public relations company as well as an antiques business. Formerly the Executive Director for the Finnish Council for Health Education, on the Executive Committee for the European Union for Health Education and the International Union for Health Education, Tuulikki has been the Head of the Statistical Office of the Finnish Municipal Association and Researcher for the Statistical Office of Finland. Drawing on her many and varied experiences in mentorship, Tuulikki highlights the importance of trust, honesty and confidentiality. She offers practical insights that help the participants respect the boundaries established within mentoring relationships.

Please feel free to share your experience with respect to this aspect of mentorship and invite others to participate where you feel they could add value to our discussion.

We asked:

•       What is the role of CONFIDENTIALITY within a mentoring relationship?

•       What does CONFIDENTIALITY mean to you?

•       How is CONFIDENTIALITY developed between the mentoring partners?

Here are a few of our thoughts to start things rolling:

Confidentiality goes ‘hand-in-hand’ with trust in a Mentorship relationship. It’s difficult to separate these two characteristics, as they are both critical to the success of mentoring relationships.  Confidentiality within the relationship provides those involved with an understanding that the information shared between them will be kept private and handled with appropriate care.

This foundation supports the ability of the participants to risk being vulnerable, yet remain secure while discussing sensitive issues. It takes courage to address many of the issues and struggles that individuals face. When both the mentor and mentee are careful to keep their conversations confidential, they strengthen their mutual trust and keep the learning relationship positive and productive.

Here are some comments that we've received from our friends, respected professionals and experts who are familiar with this subject:

John Kuypers – John Kuypers is a marketing & sales executive, leadership executive coach, consultant, speaker, and facilitator. He is a highly-respected strategist, Organizational Development expert, and the author of four books including, Who’s the Driver Anyway? Making the Shift To A Collaborative Team Culture.

John Kuypers 

Performance Shift Consulting
Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Website: http://johnkuypers.com

“It is an unfortunate reality that people feel they need confidentiality in order to open up. It is viewed as crucial to trust. Without trust, the mentor relationship is worthless. Yet I believe part of a good mentoring relationship is challenging the mentee along the way, “What would bother you if this became known?”

Typically, the answer centers around a fear about how others would react if they knew the mentee’s truth.   Yet, the most common cause of performance and relationship problems at work is the withholding of honest truth from the person bothering the mentee. 

One of the most important jobs of a good mentor is to help the mentee learn to be authentic and real in their relationships.  As the mentee grows in comfort and confidence to do this, they themselves will begin to see that the only topics that need to be confidential are personal facts that are not relevant or information that might get people unnecessarily comparing and complaining, such as salary levels or speculative organizational changes.”

NOW - Please feel free to share your comments and experiences with respect to this aspect of mentorship.  Also, help us to reach others who could benefit from participating in this discussion. We welcome your 'sharing' this page with those in your circle of contacts!

Questions:

•       What is the role of CONFIDENTIALITY within a mentoring relationship?

•       What does CONFIDENTIALITY mean to you?

•       How is CONFIDENTIALITY developed between the mentoring partners?