Key Mentorship Characteristics (KMC) - "TRUST" (Part 3)
We invited our friends
and readers to add their perspective on the role of “TRUST” in
Mentorship ...
We asked:
•
What is the role
of TRUST within a mentoring relationship?
•
What does TRUST
mean to you?
•
How is TRUST
developed between the mentoring partners?
This post continues with the third in the
series of BLOG posts related to Key Characteristics found within Healthy
Mentoring Relationships. Please enjoy these great comments that are
provided from
experts and participants within mentoring relationships. We also have
additional comments that have been received and they will be
posted separately in order to keep them intact for your benefit and
reading pleasure.
Now - here is a special post that we've selected from those received from our friends,
respected professionals and experts who are familiar with this subject:
John Kuypers, Performance Shift Consulting (Canada).
John Kuypers is a marketing & sales
executive, leadership executive coach, consultant, speaker, and facilitator. He
is a highly-respected strategist, Organizational Development expert, and the
author of four books including, Who’s the
Driver Anyway? Making the Shift To A Collaborative Team Culture.
It almost goes without saying that all healthy relationships are built
on trust. No where is that more true than in a mentoring relationship.
The key to successfully building trust is to be supportively unbiased.
This means having no personal agenda other than the success of the
mentee. The risk in any mentoring relationship is that self-interest
takes root. A mentor who wants personal gain from the mentee will
either be too directive or too supportive. A mentee doesn’t only need a
pat on the back, nor do they need to be steered in a way that reflects
how the mentor would do things. The latter is the greater risk and
frequently results in broken trust. Mentees pick up the tones of
approval and disapproval that reveal the mentor’s biases. If the mentee
wishes to go in another direction, trust begins to break down as the
fear of disapproval sets in. The consequence is either an unhealthy
dependency or a distancing of the relationship. The antidote to broken
trust is “non-judgment.” Effective mentors need to learn this
challenging skill. Failure to do so will result in tenuous trust or
over-dependence.
This is a central part of my own executive leadership
coaching practice. Interested readers can learn my best techniques from
my latest book, www.whosthedriveranyway.com
ADDITIONAL CONTRIBUTORS:
Neil Kaarsemaker - The role of trust in a mentorship relationship plays a vital role for both participants. The trust the one being mentored as well as that of the one providing mentorship. The mentoree (receipient) must trust that the mentor has their best interests at heart and is also willing to invest the time and effort to get to know the true issues at stake for the mentoree. The mentor (provider) must trust that the mentoree will make the needed investment in the relationship to be open & honest and to be prepared to learn and grow. Being mentored should be stretching process and may therefore feel difficult. Trust is the crucial component necessary in order to see the benefit for the time and effort invested by both parties.
Neil Kaarsemaker - Operations Director - Alberta Division, Canadian Manufacturers & Exporters
Dan Gaynor - Mentoring is a key facet of effective leadership, and trust has been aptly described as the glue that binds leaders and followers together. Without it an understudy will not bring many of the most important and often more sensitive issues to the mentor's attention. Clearly, these limitations limit learning. Trust enables effective mentoring.
Dan Gaynor - Gaynor Consulting Inc. www.gaynorconsulting.com
Darel Baker - Trust is a foundational issue in any relationship…without trust you can not start to build a meaningful relationship. Trust is the confidence you have in your relationship with others. This may be gained on or lost based on competence, integrity and fairness. When building trust in a mentoring situation, each party needs to be mindful of how they are coming across based on their competence in the subject matter at hand, how then can be counted on to be consistent and act with integrity and their concern for each other and not just themselves as they consider the fairness in their dealings. Trust can be built over time and by continually acting with the highest level of competence, integrity and fairness we are in a position to build trust that will be lasting.
Darel Baker - Keldar Leadership Solutions www.keldarleadership.com
Ian Hope - In mentorship, trust is absolutely the most important ingredient. Mentors show that they can be trusted when it is clear that they have only one thing on their agenda, and that is the well being, growth and development of the person that is being mentored. When this motivation is genuinely present and evident, the mentor is able to provide insights and raise the thinking of the mentoree without applying judgment and negativity. This literally opens the door to positive sharing and the feedback process. Of course, trust is, like in every other relationship a ‘two way street’ so it is equally important that the mentoree be trustworthy, accountable and genuine at all times.
Ian Hope - Ian Hope and Associates www.ianhope.com
YOUR TURN - Please feel free to share
your comments and experiences with respect to this aspect of
mentorship. Also, help us to reach others who could benefit from
participating in this discussion. We welcome your 'sharing' this page
with those in your circle of contacts!
Questions:
•
What is the role
of TRUST within a mentoring relationship?
•
What does TRUST
mean to you?
•
How is TRUST
developed between the mentoring partners?
1 comment:
In his book, “The Rules of Influence – Winning When You’re in the Minority”, author, William D. Crano touches on aspects of trustworthiness.
It’s been said that we buy from those we know, like and trust. Crano says that credibility has been studied for the past fifty years in psychological laboratories. The research shows that it (credibility) is largely determined by two features, expertise and trustworthiness.
Expertise is concerned with the source’s credentials, with the question of whether its information is valid or true, and trustworthiness has to do with the source’s likelihood of gaining from your following its advice.
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