Have you made any of these comments recently:
- This Mentorship relationship doesn’t seem to be working
- Some developmental needs are not being met in this current Mentoring relationship.
- It seems like this Mentoring partnership has grown stale.
- I really feel that a change is needed.
Does any of that sound familiar? A Mentoring relationship does not have to be a life-long commitment. While some Mentoring relationships do extend over a longer period of time, it’s important to understand that it would only make sense if there was mutual value in continuing. More important, be aware of when the Mentee would be better served through finding an appropriately matched Mentoring relationship – one that meets their current growth requirements.
Consider whether the involvement of multiple Mentors could assist in meeting the unique and diverse needs of the Mentee. That’s an interesting strategy that may prove to be successful, as finding an exact match between a Mentee and Mentor becomes increasingly difficult as the number of skill areas expand.
Related to this, is a post from my friend Neil Kaarsemaker, Operations Director - Alberta Division, Canadian Manufacturers & Exporters. I was pleased to hear from Neil, who shares some of his thoughts and experiences on Mentorship.
I have two ongoing mentorship relationships. One is with my career & life coach, Linda Maul at Creating People Power. The other is a prayer partner whom I have been meeting with weekly for 8 years now. These are both one-on-one mentoring relationships where we get to know one another very well over time, and with the sharing of life experiences. This is crucial from my perspective - to spend the time to get to know one another deeply and personally. Sharing of experiences, the good and the bad, are the best learning experiences in a mentorship relationship. How we deal with the highs and lows is what defines us as a person. Also, learning to trust a mentor to keep your confidences and not judge you in the things you do or say is a powerful element in building a strong mentorship relationship.
Mentorship is often thought of a a one way street, but I disagree. Both parties gain, especially in the relationships I am experiencing. Even in a more traditional mentor/mentee relationship, both parties gain immensely.
A third mentorship relationship from my past has been a mens group that was focussed on the topic of life & career transitions in your 50's. The members had careers that were peaking, many with an option to retire on the horizon. Kids, if there were any, tended to be adults and were making their own decisions for life, education, love and relationships. This group of guys met every six weeks or so, over a four to six month span to discuss what we had been experiencing in our lives, what other transitions we had encountered that taught us about ourselves, leading into the next transition and our expectations for "what's next." This was a collaborative mentorship of story telling, questions for each other, and challenges on how to break through barriers, real and imagined.
Thanks Neil, for sharing your experience in having multiple Mentoring partnerships and how they can meet a wider variety of individual needs.
PLEASE feel free to add your comments related to this post and how the needs of the Mentee/Protégé can be met through the creative use of Mentoring relationships.
Related to this story, simply click on the name of the person mentioned to view any of the following video interviews:
Dan Gaynor encourages Mentors to help the Protégé develop a sense of purpose. Dan poses the question: “Do these relationships need to end? He talks about one of his personal mentorship relationships where they still periodically connect - even after many years! The nature of the relationship changes, but the contact is still maintained.
Dave Abday suggests having regular assessments along the way. Understand when it’s time to move on to another source of input, although, a relationship often continues well into the future.
Grant McDowell recommends having a common idea of the objectives for the relationship. He talks about the value of using a Mentoring Agreement, either written or verbal. He also suggests that you have an exit plan for when the official mentoring period is over.
