KMC 2) TRUST (Part 1)
Key Mentorship Characteristics (KMC)
1) TRUST - the characteristic of trust is exhibited where one or both parties in the mentoring relationship are prepared to lower barriers that would typically protect them from experiencing potential loss or damage of their personal confidence. It involves taking the risk of suffering a potential embarrassment should perceived short-comings, flaws or deficiencies become public, beyond the intended circle of trust. Mentoring relationship depend upon building and maintaining mutual trust between the parties in order to develop beyond superficial conversations.
We invited our friends
and readers to add their perspective on the role of “TRUST” in
Mentorship
This is our second in a
series of BLOG posts related to Key Characteristics found within Healthy
Mentoring Relationships. We’ve once again received some great comments from
experts and participants within mentoring relationships and as a result, will
post these separately in order to keep these special comments intact for your benefit and reading pleasure.
* IN THIS POST - Dr. Donald M. Carmont (Canada)
Author of "The Naked Mentor"
Coming SOON on THIS TOPIC:
Prof. David Clutterbuck, David
Clutterbuck Partnership (United Kingdom)
Prof.
Clutterbuck was one of the very early pioneers of mentoring and
coaching. Author of 55 books, a third of them on coaching and mentoring
themes, David shares some of the lessons he’s learned on
confidentiality. He comments on how it is gained and maintained, as well
as when it needs to be broken, and how to handle that most delicate
scenario.
John Kuypers – Performance Shift Consulting (Canada)
John Kuypers is a marketing & sales
executive, leadership executive coach, consultant, speaker, and facilitator. He
is a highly-respected strategist, Organizational Development expert, and the
author of four books including, Who’s the
Driver Anyway? Making the Shift To A Collaborative Team Culture.
PLUS MANY NEW and RETURNING CONTRIBUTORS!!!
Please feel free to share
your experience with respect to this aspect of mentorship and invite others to
participate where you feel they could add value to our discussion.
We asked:
•
What is the role
of TRUST within a mentoring relationship?
•
What does TRUST
mean to you?
•
How is TRUST
developed between the mentoring partners?
Here are a few related thoughts from my personal experience:
When I work with and mentor the members of my Client Services team, one of the key things I attempt to instil in each of them is the concept of becoming "Problem Solvers and Opportunity Explorers". In that process, I allow them the opportunity to take a closer and deeper look at situations and come up with creative solutions from the variety of options possible.
In this process, I place increased levels of trust not only their abilities to deliver on an assignment, but also on their willingness to actually fulfil that vital role. TO THE EXTENT that we can TRUST the skills, competence and integrity of our team members, we can benefit from the development of their fullest potential. When we build trust in others, we can confidently delegate appropriate assignments to them, knowing they are trustworthy and valuable members of our team.
Now - here is a special post that we've selected from those received from our friends,
respected professionals and experts who are familiar with this subject:
Dr. Donald M. Carmont - author "The Naked Mentor"
Dr. Don Carmont - A
leadership catalyst and executive coach, Don has taken his
message through teaching, leadership training, writing and public
speaking to hundreds of thousands of people in nearly thirty countries.
His book, The Naked Mentor, after rave reviews is now in its second
printing. Don
has inspired participants from more than 10,000 organizations in public
seminars throughout Canada, the US, the UK and Asia.
Website: http://www.drcarmont.com/
Trust in Mentoring - Trust
forms the foundation and defines the quality of any human relationship.
Trust is the measure the quality of the relationship, and openness is
the measure of trust. Only when the protégé trusts the mentor will he or
she be open with the mentor. Trust and openness contribute to
readiness. Learning can only occur when the level of readiness is high.
For
these reasons, the mentor must lead the way with trust: leadership
means “going first” and the mentor goes first by giving trust. Trust
must be a verb (an act) before it becomes a noun (a fact or state). The
mentor demonstrates trust through vulnerability: sharing of experiences
that reveal the mentor’s humanity, challenges and struggles. This lowers
the threshold for the protégé to reciprocate and open up to the mentor.
Trust creates openness—and the opportunity for learning to occur.
The
mentor sustains that trust by keeping confidences, following through on
commitments, and by making it safe for the protégé to admit mistakes,
challenges and problems. The mentor allows the lesson to teach, asking
questions to foster self-discovery, rather than giving advice. This
action speaks louder than any words: it says, “I trust your ability to
identify your choices and responses in your situation. You have the
resources to make a decision without my seeking to influence it.” That
behaviour, in essence says, “I trust you.”
The above comments are based on the second mentoring principle at the end of chapter two from the book, "The Naked Mentor".
Mentoring Principle Two - Trust
must first be a verb before it becomes a noun: before trust can exist
as a quality in a relationship, it must first be demonstrated and
exhibited. The mentor leads in the relationship by demonstrating trust.
This trust results in a higher degree of openness on the part of the
protégé. When the protégé makes a mistake, the mentor lets the lesson
teach, reaffirms the trust, and rejoices in the growth that results.
NOW - Please feel free to share
your comments and experiences with respect to this aspect of
mentorship. Also, help us to reach others who could benefit from
participating in this discussion. We welcome your 'sharing' this page
with those in your circle of contacts!
Questions:
•
What is the role
of TRUST within a mentoring relationship?
•
What does TRUST
mean to you?
•
How is TRUST
developed between the mentoring partners?
