KMC 3) - RESPONSIVENESS (Part 2)

Key Mentorship Characteristics (KMC) #3) - "RESPONSIVENESS" (Part 2)

1) RESPONSIVENESS - the characteristic of responsiveness in mentorship is exhibited when one or both parties take appropriate steps to react quickly to address the needs of the other party. It involves an appreciation for the state or condition of the other party, as well as an understanding of the mutual commitment that each has made to nurture and develop the relationship.

THANKS for YOUR RESPONSE to Part 1 of our discussion on "RESPONSIVENESS". We've posted a couple of comments that came in and invite you to add your thoughts to those received from our friends and readers regarding the role of “RESPONSIVENESS” in Mentorship.

Please feel free to share your experience with respect to this aspect of mentorship and invite others to participate where you feel they could add value to our discussion.

We asked:

•       What is the role of RESPONSIVENESS within a mentoring relationship?

•       What does RESPONSIVENESS mean to you?

•       How is RESPONSIVENESS developed between the mentoring partners?

   

In the following article, my friend Bill Butler (British Columbia, Canada) puts a very different lens on the concept of 'love' ... particularly when we apply it to our everyday interactions with others in the workplace, and then of course, within a mentoring relationship. I’ve really appreciated Bill's insights and his expertise. Thanks for adding some great value to our discussion on Mentorship! 

Here are Bill's comments on RESPONSIVENESS:

To me, responsiveness in a mentorship relationship simply means the employment of love.

It is important to have responsiveness because the communication of love opens the door to awareness and meaningful dialogue. It is active awareness and an appreciation of both the mentor and client(s) that permits the relationship to blossom and flourish into a level of complete trust.

For example, a client may not feel that they are not able to be forthcoming on certain matters, or they may be unaware of things within themselves, until they are elicited through compassionate discourse.

How can it be developed? The mentor offers a sympathetic, listening ear... a tender heart... and a non-judgmental understanding of the client. This level of sensitivity, in turn, enables the client to be willing to listen to the mentor, to be receptive to what the mentor brings to the table.

As the mentor has just as much to learn from the process, the client also plays a vital role in the growth of the mentor by communicating life experiences. Such are the dynamics of the relationship. It works best when all parties involved remain open to learning from one another. Responsiveness is important at all times because it is the health and heart of the relationship.

It can also be developed through awareness and appreciation of one’s character. This serves to regulate self-esteem. For example, a client with low self-esteem may obtain a more accurate picture of who they truly are, thus elevating their perception of themselves to a healthy level. Conversely, if a client is egotistical and/or self-righteous, an accurate picture of who they are, communicated in a loving way, usually serves to temper it, first by being provided the awareness and then by the acceptance of it.

* Readers can access additional information from Bill Butler from his Facebook page, or at his website: www.williambutler.ca

Thanks Bill for this interesting and very personal perspective on some of the underlying dynamics that can enrich the quality of a mentoring relationship when taken to heart and actively applied! 

 

NOW - Please feel free to share your comments and experiences with respect to this aspect of mentorship.  Also, help us to reach others who could benefit from participating in this discussion. We welcome your 'sharing' this page with those in your circle of contacts!

Questions:

•       What is the role of RESPONSIVENESS within a mentoring relationship?

•       What does RESPONSIVENESS mean to you?

•       How is RESPONSIVENESS developed between the mentoring partners?

KMC 3) RESPONSIVENESS (Part 1)

KMC 3) RESPONSIVENESS (Part 1)

Key Mentorship Characteristics (KMC) 

1) RESPONSIVENESS - the characteristic of responsiveness in mentorship is exhibited when one or both parties in the mentoring relationship takes appropriate steps to react quickly to address the needs of the other party. It involves an appreciation for the state or condition of the other party, as well as an understanding of the mutual commitment that each has made to nurture and develop the relationship.

We invited our friends and readers to add their perspective on the role of “RESPONSIVENESS” in Mentorship.

Please feel free to share your experience with respect to this aspect of mentorship and invite others to participate where you feel they could add value to our discussion.

We asked:

•       What is the role of RESPONSIVENESS within a mentoring relationship?

•       What does RESPONSIVENESS mean to you?

•       How is RESPONSIVENESS developed between the mentoring partners?

Here are a few related thoughts from my personal experience:

I received an email note from my friend, Ian Hope who provided an article that really seemed to fit with this topic. Thanks Ian for permission to use it here! I think it serves as a reminder of the importance that listening can play in our ability to be "responsive" to others.
 

I'm also reminded of a former supervisor that I had in the early days of my career. This gentleman was responsible for my training program and while it would have been great to have had a mentoring relationship, that was definitely not the case. Please don't misunderstand - he was very good technically and meticulous in his approach to completing his work. HOWEVER, whenever I'd come into his office to check in with him regarding my role and development, he had a habit of continuing with his own work during our discussion. To be honest, it left me feeling like I was a very low priority on his schedule. I hope that I can provide a higher level of focus on those that I work with in order to appropriately communicate with them during my conversations with them.
 

Suggestion: Set time aside to meet with your mentoring partner.

Now - here is a special post that we've selected from those received from our friends, respected professionals and experts who are familiar with this subject:

 Ian Hope - Hope and Associates

Ian Hope's mission is to help other people excel in their interactions with team members and customers. He helps others get superior outcomes by raising the level of their people skills! An experienced facilitator, Ian sharpens key workplace skills, improving communications and emotional intelligence to more fully engage people at all levels.

Website: www.ianhope.com 

   

In the following article, Ian Hope provides some great insights related to our RESPONSIVENESS to others, particularly within important personal and mentoring relationships.

Gettin’ More of the Good Stuff - How is your listening?

There are two parts to a conversation- speaking and listening. Since most of us are better at the speaking part, I want to focus in today’s column about how we actually listen to others during our conversations. I’ll start with a question: if I said to you for example... “listening is a _______”, what would be the most critical and defining word that you could possibly use to fill in the blank? Don’t keep reading until you’ve selected that word, and I’ll come back to that near the end of the column.
 

Now think of the many reasons that you should listen to conversations during one of your typical days. One reason to listen may be to get directions; or you might want to listen to discover new information about a problem you’ve been trying to solve; perhaps you’re listening to learn something new and personally beneficial. What if you are listening to a family member or friend who has a serious problem they’re coping with, perhaps even a broken heart? How important is listening and sharing then?
 

Think also of how your good or poor listening skills affect your relationship with the other person? What does it show when you listen closely? What does it show when you clearly are not really listening to the other person? Do you really think they may not know? Truth is, it’s pretty hard to cover up poor listening. I had an older relative years ago who I really liked and respected; on a number of occasions I went to them for advice and mentoring with problems as I thought they were interested in my success. Yet I started to notice that I’d often be asked questions during the conversation that I had already covered in some detail- I finally got the picture that this person was really just going through the motions and not really paying attention at all. I soon got the picture and our relationship really never did develop from that point.
 

My daughter was in high school and used to regularly pour her heart out to me while I was in my usual after dinner, ‘multi-tasking’ mode. I’d be sitting in my easy chair with the newspaper spread out on my lap, one ear on the local TV news and the other casually listening as she told me of the day’s events- her highs and lows and some of the things in particular that she had found most troubling. I would be nodding as she spoke but only half conscious to what she was saying and not watching her for her body language and emotional cues that she was giving out ....clues that said more about what she was feeling than the words themselves.

 

On the very day that I had attended a leadership training seminar where I had learned that a person actually has to choose to listen, my daughter started up a conversation again that evening. But this time I did something remarkably different. I put my newspaper down and with the remote, shut the TV off. I turned my chair towards her and looked into her eyes and I swear... we had the best conversation that a parent and child could possibly have. I had never listened so well, so attentively to anyone in my life and I could see how much this focus meant to her. I’ve had a lot of great conversations with people in my life since then. I can honestly say, this resulted directly from becoming a far better listener, simply by making conscious choices to listen to others who want to share with me or who want my attention.

 

The skill of listening is something you can practice with everyone- give the people who are important in your life your undivided attention. Turn your face and body towards them, show them that you truly do care about what they are saying and how they feel by listening to them without interruption, judgment or disapproval. You can be sure that your relationship with them will be so much better for it. Happy thoughts to you!

 

NOW - Please feel free to share your comments and experiences with respect to this aspect of mentorship.  Also, help us to reach others who could benefit from participating in this discussion. We welcome your 'sharing' this page with those in your circle of contacts!

Questions:

•       What is the role of RESPONSIVENESS within a mentoring relationship?

•       What does RESPONSIVENESS mean to you?

•       How is RESPONSIVENESS developed between the mentoring partners?