However, if you've been in a Mentoring relationship for some time, you know that differences of perspective and opinion can easily arise between those involved.
How many times have you seen a mentoring relationship where the participants seem to 'battle' for power and position? Perhaps you've been in this type of a mentoring relationship, either as a protégé or as a mentor.
Finding a good and healthy balance within these complex interpersonal relationships can be a challenge. I've come to think of it not so much a case of 'give and take' between the mentoring partners, but perhaps a more 'gentler' one of 'offer and receive'. Can you see a difference between these positions? I believe there's a subtle difference, but one that can make 'a world of difference' in the quality of the relationship!
In healthy mentoring environments, both parties are contributing to the development of the relationship, and each other. I've spoken with mentors who've told me that they've received ‘good value’ from being in a healthy mentoring relationship. I think it comes down to each of those involved choosing to respect the other party, acknowledging that both bring something of value to the mentoring relationship.
To add his expert insight to this, I invited my friend, Dr. William Gray to shares some of his observations. Dr. Gray's kindly provided the following comments for this Mentoring BLOG Post. In addition, we've uploaded some new, related comments that were recorded in an earlier video interview with Dr. Gray. These are now available on our YouTube Channel through the link we provide below.
Thank you Dr. Gray for providing the following thoughts on building and maintaining a healthy mentoring relationship.
Why Mentoring Style Flexibility is Essential
By Dr. William A. Gray
President, Mentoring Solutions
Researchers of mentoring agree that the mentoring relationship between mentors and their protégés is the key to successful mentoring and achieving desired goals. If you cannot work well with your partner, you stop meeting and no goals are attained. I also discovered this and then created the Mentoring Style Indicator (MSI) in the early 1980s as a tool for training mentoring partners. Mentors learn to use two Mentoring Styles to equip protégés like the dictionary definition or classical concept describes – passing on knowledge, wisdom and practical know-how. Mentors also learn to use two other Mentoring Styles to empower what protégés want to learn, do and become. During Partner Training, proteges learn to be receptive to these different kinds of assistance – and to request appropriate assistance when needed. Employing such Mentoring Style Flexibility has helped over 100,000 mentoring partners to develop a good working relationship that achieves desired outcomes. If inflexibility occurs, mentoring relationships fall apart and goals are not achieved.
* Thank you Dr. Gray for your insights, and for the related comments which can be found on our Youtube Channel at: https://youtu.be/jQWWqmQudPE
PLEASE feel free to add your comments to our post.
We'd be very pleased to hear from you as you share your experiences related to improving Mentoring Relationships.
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