KMC 6) - RESPECT (Part 2)

Key Mentorship Characteristics (KMC) #6) - "RESPECT" (Part 2)

Once again we invite you to share your experiences with "respect" to this aspect of mentorship (which is all about RESPECT) and invite others to participate where you feel they could add value to our discussion.

We asked:

•       What is the role of RESPECT within a mentoring relationship?

•       What does RESPECT mean to you?

•       How is RESPECT developed between the mentoring partners?

   

To start - here is a special segment that we've selected from our friends, respected professionals and experts who are familiar with this subject ...

 


Prof. David Clutterbuck

David Clutterbuck was one of the very early pioneers of mentoring and coaching. Author of 55 books, a third of them on coaching and mentoring themes, he is visiting professor at both Sheffield Hallam and Oxford Brookes Universities.  David co-founded the European Mentoring and Coaching Council and chairs the International Standards for Mentoring Programs in Employment.

In our explorations of mentee competencies, one of the critical pairings is the two sides of respect: respect for each other and respect for oneself. Respect for others is a fairly easy concept to grasp, but respect for oneself requires a higher level of self-knowledge and introspection. The question “Would you want you as your best friend?” can provoke significant insight. Respecting oneself is not about pride or arrogance. It is about recognising and accepting the balance of qualities, the strengths and weaknesses that make each of us unique; about aiming to be our ideal self, but acknowledging that we will never fully succeed. Self-respect is about valuing our efforts to be that person, and forgiving ourselves for never quite getting there. Conversations with mentors give us the wisdom and insight to acquire this positive self-regard.

Thank you David. It's great to have your insights on the important role that RESPECT has within today's mentoring relationships!

Mentorship is a journey - but one that you need not take alone! When both parties within the mentoring relationship show respect for each other, the quality of that relationship is significantly improved. 

Here are a few practical tips that can improve the effectiveness of the mentorship relationships. 

Tip # 1: Commit to being a full participant in the mentorship relationship. Make the decision to mentally “be there” when you get together or communicate with your mentoring partner. Set an adequate amount of time aside and focus, just as you would with your most important customer. Make every effort to avoid distractions. Without that commitment and RESPECT, your mentorship relationship is more likely to unravel, rather than develop as you desire.

Tip # 2: Establish a professional tone to your telephone calls, email and personal communications. Some Mentors and Protégés may already know each other prior to entering into the Mentorship relationship, while others have only met through a matching process. Make every effort to keep your mentorship relationship at the highest level of professionalism, maintaining trust and keeping an appropriate focus in your conversations or activities. When you show respect for your mentor partner, respect comes back in your direction too.

Tip # 3: Value the time being committed to this relationship by your mentorship partner. Keep appointments and respond promptly. This clearly demonstrates that you respect the value of the other person's time. It can be very helpful in the early stages to discuss what each of you expects in terms of response times. We recommend documenting this and other key objectives in a “Mentorship Agreement” – something we cover within Pro-Vision’s Mentorship Program.

NOW - Please feel free to share your comments and experiences with this aspect of mentorship.  Also, help us to reach others who could benefit from participating in this discussion. We welcome your 'sharing' this page with those in your circle of contacts!

Questions:

•       What is the role of RESPECT within a mentoring relationship?

•       What does RESPECT mean to you?

•       How is RESPECT developed between the mentoring partners?

KMC 6) - RESPECT (Part 1)

Key Mentorship Characteristics (KMC) #6) - "RESPECT" (Part 1)

1) RESPECT - the characteristic of respect in mentorship is exhibited when one or both parties shows and appreciates that there can be a mutual commitment between them to nurture and develop the relationship.

Please feel free to share your experience with respect to this aspect of mentorship and invite others to participate where you feel they could add value to our discussion.

We asked:

•       What is the role of RESPECT within a mentoring relationship?

•       What does RESPECT mean to you?

•       How is RESPECT developed between the mentoring partners?

   

RESPECT within Mentorship has dual application. First, it's an appropriate expression of appreciation or deep sense of admiration for someone, 'earned' by virtue of their recognized abilities, quality of character, or lifetime achievements. At the same time, we recognize that mutual RESPECT should exist within Mentoring relationships. In positive mentoring partnerships, both parties will be learning and growing as a result of their interactions. It's important to be flexible, open and adaptive to learn from each other. While it's easy to assume that it is the Protégé who learns from the Mentor, many Mentors have also experienced growth within a dynamic mentorship relationship!  

 
Now - here is a special segment that we've selected from our friends, respected professionals and experts who are familiar with this subject ...

 

Dr. Donald M. Carmont - author "The Naked Mentor"

Dr. Don Carmont - A leadership catalyst and executive coach, Don has taken his message through teaching, leadership training, writing and public speaking to hundreds of thousands of people in nearly thirty countries. His book, The Naked Mentor, after rave reviews is now in its second printing. Don has inspired participants from more than 10,000 organizations in public seminars throughout Canada, the US, the UK and Asia.

Website: http://www.drcarmont.com/ 

I like what my friend Don Carmont's wrote in his book, "The Naked Mentor"

Mentoring Principle Twenty-Nine
When mentoring is mutual, both parties are simultaneously mentor and protégé. The lines are blurred between mentor and protégé, and there is no longer a need to define them. The learning may be realized on the spot or after the fact. Mutual mentoring occurs as an intimate relationship of respect, equity, and reciprocity. There is a synergy that is achieved in mutual mentoring where one plus one equals more than two.                   Source: "The Naked Mentor" (Page 197)

Thanks Don for this shedding some additional light and perspective on this aspect of Mentorship. Mutual RESPECT is foundational to the long-term success of the mentoring relationship!


Here are a few related thoughts that speak to the importance of RESPECT within a MENTORING relationship.

The mark of true PROFESSIONALISM goes beyond attaining and maintaining HIGH STANDARDS of EXCELLENCE. Having met a number of high-achievers, I think I'm really more impressed with those who have not only achieved those significant levels of recognition, and have somehow managed to not allowed that success to become a barrier between themselves and those around them.
 
A true professional will be noticed as we walk along the road of life. It’s about treating others with RESPECT and DIGNITY, regardless of our position. It's about having a good understand of true stewardship, and the prudent use of limited available resources in order to manage them for future generations. 

 

NOW - Please feel free to share your comments and experiences with this aspect of mentorship.  Also, help us to reach others who could benefit from participating in this discussion. We welcome your 'sharing' this page with those in your circle of contacts!

Questions:

•       What is the role of RESPECT within a mentoring relationship?

•       What does RESPECT mean to you?

•       How is RESPECT developed between the mentoring partners?

International Mentoring - a ‘Series of Conversations’

I received a message not that long ago, inviting those from within my circle of contacts to participate in some of the work being done by Professor David Clutterbuck related to the topic of International Mentoring. 

Professor David Clutterbuck

David Clutterbuck was one of the very early pioneers of mentoring and coaching. Author of 55 books, a third of them on coaching and mentoring themes, he is visiting professor at both Sheffield Hallam and Oxford Brookes Universities.  David co-founded the European Mentoring and Coaching Council and chairs the International Standards for Mentoring Programs in Employment.

A number of people expressed interest in aspects related to International Mentorship and this BLOG POST is intended to assist in the collection of that information, which we would be pleased to forward. 

It's been my privilege to meet, interview and connect with Professor Clutterbuck over the past few years and I look forward to future opportunities as well.  I understand this to be a ‘series of conversations’ he has planned and thought that the following might provide some 'priming thoughts' for your contributions!

* Please consider adding a short narrative description of your International Mentoring experience, which should include the following points, where relevant:

1. The name of the International Mentoring program that you are currently involved with, or have participated with in the past
2. Your role in that program? (Host Organization; Mentor; Mentee/Protégé)
3. The country where you are/were at the time of involvement in the Mentoring Program
4. What other countries were also participating in the Mentoring Program
5. Prepare to briefly describe your International Mentoring experience

For those wishing to go directly to the conversations mentioned by Prof. Clutterbuck, he indicates that he has started discussion streams on the “Coaching at Work” LinkedIn group. For those who have a LinkedIn profile, simply search for the “Coaching at Work” group on LinkedIn and ask to join that discussion, if you are not already a member of the group.

For those who would also like to add their comments here, or are not a member of LinkedIn, and would still like to comment, we invite you to add your comments related to this on this POST.

Thank you in advance for your interest in these discussions regarding International Mentoring. We look forward to sharing your comments on this topic and learning more of how International Mentoring is helping others to succeed around the world!

KMC 5) HONESTY (Part 2)

KMC 5) HONESTY (Part 2)

Key Mentorship Characteristics (KMC)

Please feel free to add your perspective on the role of “HONESTY” in Mentorship.

Share your experience with respect to this aspect of mentorship and invite others to participate where you feel they could add value to our discussion.

We asked:
• What is the role of HONESTY within a mentoring relationship?
• What does HONESTY mean to you?
• How is HONESTY developed between the mentoring partners?

It’s said that HONESTY is the best policy! And to be honest with you we believe that honesty between the individuals involved in a mentorship relationship is critical to a successful mentoring relationship. Without the ability to freely express what is happening, what you are feeling, your hopes, dreams and aspirations, as well as the things that you fear – the effectiveness of the relationship is significantly diminished.

As a cautionary note - Being HONESTY doesn't require that you also be brutal. A little HONESTY goes a long way! We've found that kindness and gentleness are most welcomed in the application of HONESTY.

In being HONEST, we need to emphasize that while it’s important to be supportive, recognize that in the mentoring relationship, neither party is taking on the role of psychologist, social worker or spiritual caregiver! The role within a healthy mentoring relationship is that of a supportive, encouraging friend, a sounding board and confidant in a mutual, growing relationship. Suggest professional help where it may be appropriate.

Also, in keeping the relationship HONEST, attempt to resolve problems immediately, and follow through on your commitments. Keep the lines of communications open in order to maintain the relationship. It’s very difficult if not impossible to repair a relationship if issue remains hidden. It’s much more productive to address a situation early, resolve it and move forward.

Finally, and most importantly - enjoy the journey! While mentorship is a developmental relationship, it should still be fun, for both Mentor and Mentee/Protégé.

NOW it's YOUR TURN! - Please feel free to share your comments and experiences with respect to this aspect of mentorship.

WHAT'S been your experience with respect to HONESTY within MENTORSHIP?

Also, help us to reach others who could benefit from participating in this discussion. We welcome your 'sharing' this page with those in your circle of contacts!

KMC 5) HONESTY (Part 1)

KMC 5) HONESTY (Part 1)

Key Mentorship Characteristics (KMC)

Please feel free to add your perspective on the role of “HONESTY” in Mentorship.

Share your experience with respect to this aspect of mentorship and invite others to participate where you feel they could add value to our discussion.

We asked:
• What is the role of HONESTY within a mentoring relationship?
• What does HONESTY mean to you?
• How is HONESTY developed between the mentoring partners?

When it comes to HONESTY within a Mentoring relationship, here are a couple of Tips that if followed, should result in a better Mentorship for both the Mentee and the Mentor! 

We encourage both the Mentor and Mentee to make genuine efforts to be genuine! Share some insights regarding yourself with your Mentor or Mentee. Get to know the other person, where they’ve been and what they’ve experienced. Be prepared to open up and let your personality shine, in addition showing the professional you! Help the other person discover some of your personal attributes, dreams, personal goals, strengths, as well as some of those areas you still want to improve!

In the process of getting to know each other, early in the relationship, exchange a little information about each other, your family backgrounds, career paths and what has brought you to this point in life. Let the other person know about what is important to you, what you enjoy doing and what you find challenging. It’s okay to be genuine. None of us is perfect. Where differences exist, look for opportunities to break down barriers and build bridges, by being real.

As with genuine friendships, honest and open relationships between a Mentor and Mentee start with an understanding of the expectations within those relationships.

Where there is HONESTY, you will find a foundation for TRUST to be built. Where there is trust, you will also find TRANSPARENCY - with no hidden agenda.

Here’s a suggestion - Work with your Mentor/Mentee and begin to create an atmosphere where they can feel comfortable expressing their feelings, their hopes, and their dreams. When we do this, we cultivate a landscape that is positive and ready for growth – with the proper attention, it could become a healthy and productive garden!

NOW it's YOUR TURN! - Please feel free to share your comments and experiences with respect to this aspect of mentorship.

WHAT'S been your experience with respect to HONESTY within MENTORSHIP?

Also, help us to reach others who could benefit from participating in this discussion. We welcome your 'sharing' this page with those in your circle of contacts!

KMC 4) INTEGRITY (Part 2)

KMC 4) INTEGRITY (Part 2)

Key Mentorship Characteristics (KMC)

We invited our friends and readers to add their perspective on the role of “INTEGRITY” in Mentorship.

Please feel free to share your experience with respect to this aspect of mentorship and invite others to participate where you feel they could add value to our discussion.

We asked:

• What is the role of INTEGRITY within a mentoring relationship?

• What does INTEGRITY mean to you?

• How is INTEGRITY developed between the mentoring partners?

We've had so many great comments that have come in on the topic of TRUST within Mentorship Relationships.

In March of 2013 we added a post to this BLOG that featured a portion of the interview that we had with Glenn Furuya, President & CEO at Leadership Works, LLC.  We met Glenn while in Honolulu, Hawaii and he graciously accepted our invitation to record our discussion regarding MENTORSHIP. In this segment, Glenn talks about something he calls, "The 3 - RITY" - and the role that Charity, Clarity and Integrity play within the mentoring relationship. These three characteristics are essential to building trust between the Mentee and the Mentor.

Profoundly insightful, Glenn highlights the "3 - RITY" in more detail:

Charity - the Mentee needs to know that the Mentor is coming from the right place, and that they have a genuine care for the well-being of the Mentee.

Clarity - The Mentee needs to know and appreciate that the Mentor can help them find clarity of direction, thought, and navigate their way through difficult times.

Integrity - The Mentee needs to see that the Mentor 'walks the talk' and that their values match their behaviours and actions.

CLICK HERE FOR A LINK TO GLENN'S DISCUSSION ON THE "3 - RITY".

 

FYI - Our full interview with Glenn Furuya can also be found on our YouTube Channel and a direct link to Glenn's full interview is provided by clicking HERE.

A CLOSING THOUGHT -

The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour. Japanese Proverb

NOW it's YOUR TURN! - Please feel free to share your comments and experiences with respect to this aspect of mentorship. 

WHAT'S been your experience with respect to INTEGRITY within MENTORSHIP?

Also, help us to reach others who could benefit from participating in this discussion. We welcome your 'sharing' this page with those in your circle of contacts!

Questions:

• What is the role of INTEGRITY within a mentoring relationship?

• What does INTEGRITY mean to you?

• How is INTEGRITY developed between the mentoring partners?

KMC 4) INTEGRITY (Part 1)

KMC 4) INTEGRITY (Part 1)

Key Mentorship Characteristics (KMC)

INTEGRITY - the characteristic of being honest and demonstrating a high level of moral principles in one's conduct and within the mentoring relationship. Integrity is frequently associated with being complete, intact and without fracture or division towards an alternative purpose.

We invited our friends and readers to add their perspective on the role of “INTEGRITY” in Mentorship.

Please feel free to share your experience with respect to this aspect of mentorship and invite others to participate where you feel they could add value to our discussion.

We asked:

• What is the role of INTEGRITY within a mentoring relationship?

• What does INTEGRITY mean to you?

• How is INTEGRITY developed between the mentoring partners?

If you were to ask me to try to define INTEGRITY, I'd say that it is the unwavering consistency that we demonstrate - it’s what others see when the going gets tough, when the storms of life lash out upon the hull of our fragile ship and the fabric of our character is tested on the stormy seas of adversity. Someone once said that INTEGRITY is 'who you are when no one else is watching.' 

Awhile ago, several of my friends in social media circles commented on what INTEGRITY meant to them.  Here is a sampling of some of those comments.  I trust that they 'ring true' with you as they did with me when I first read them!

1) My friend Bill Butler says that INTEGRITY speaks to one's moral fiber, to consistency of character and personal honesty, such that all of their actions are above board and align with the values they claim to live by. In other words, INTEGRITY is being who you are.

Stephen R. Covey said it this way. "Living a life of INTEGRITY starts with making and keeping promises, until the whole human personality, the senses, the thinking, the feeling, and the intuition, are ultimately integrated and harmonized."

A person of INTEGRITY is the genuine article. They are forthright and honorable and can be counted on to tell the truth.

INTEGRITY is:

Innocence
Nobility
Trustworthiness
Excellence
Genuineness
Reliability
Irreproachability
Temperance
YOU!

2) Another friend, Lesley Byrne Marcovich asks: “How do you treat yourself? With INTEGRITY?

• Are you truthful with yourself? 
• Do you keep promises you make yourself? Are you quick to forgive yourself? 
• Do you accept responsibility for your actions? 
• Are you consistent with your personal goals? 
• Do you genuinely care and respect the life you have been given?

"INTEGRITY is the welcome mat at your front door."

3) My friend, Gilberto MacKnight tells an interesting story:

My Mom used to say: ”No one can give what they do not possess”. It is true; how can we radiate INTEGRITY, harmony and cohesion, without having them? Integrity means wholeness, all parts united in harmony. Impossible to transmit or inspire it without really having it! Before we can present ourselves to others we have to unite our qualities, talents and capacities to our character as a whole.

4) Narendra Man Pradhan, another friend says that, “INTEGRITY is the adherence to a high standard of honesty and character. Without INTEGRITY, a leader has absolutely no ground on which to stand. INTEGRITY and trustworthiness are the two qualities at the top of the list that are considered essential for LEADERSHIP.

NOW - Please feel free to share your comments and experiences with respect to this aspect of mentorship. 

WHAT'S been your experience with respect to INTEGRITY within MENTORSHIP?

Also, help us to reach others who could benefit from participating in this discussion. We welcome your 'sharing' this page with those in your circle of contacts!

Questions:

• What is the role of INTEGRITY within a mentoring relationship?

• What does INTEGRITY mean to you?

• How is INTEGRITY developed between the mentoring partners?